Recently, I've taken my life, turned it upside down and kind of emptied myself out. I've begun searching and finding out a lot about myself. I'm picking apart the way I do things and I'm hoping to change everything I'm doing wrong and replace it with the right way. Imagine getting an old junker and ripping out the engine and all of the interior and replacing everything with parts from a brand new convertible. This is my MAIN goal...to transform myself into what I want to be instead of just being what I've become.
1) Money. I've dug a large hole for myself over the past four years and the idea of owning my own property anytime soon is a joke because of it. I have no emergency supply...I've basically been flying at the edge of my seat. Well...Shelby and I sat down two weeks ago and made a chart. And added some numbers. And set some boundaries for my money. We've made a PLAN and my goal is to have all of the $10,300 I owe on my credit report paid off by the end of August. I've paid off 740 and have 9,560 to go. IN TWO WEEKS. I definitely feel like patting myself on the back for this one (and do, regularly) because I've worked quite a bit during the past two weeks.
I do feel this goal consuming me. And I feel that's my only problem with it. I'm always worried about it...trying to make more tips than are available while delivering pizzas. I feel it's good that I'm keeping a way closer eye on my money. I need that. However, I'm so hard on myself when I don't make a certain amount of tips in one night. And I get super frustrated about it because I know if I can pump that $35 up to a $55, I could have another bill paid off next week instead of two weeks from now. I want to show myself and everybody else that I can not only meet my goal, but I can exceed. I also want to say I'm only doing this for myself, but that's a whole other blog about self acceptance and what-not.
I just abruptly decided I'm done writing. It must be my disinterest along with my urge to sleep soon. More description of goals to come and I hope to track my progress and watch myself change into who I want to be as I progress.
Introducing: Manchester Orchestra - The River
Tiffany - as you said, you built the debt over 4 years...you aren't going to pay it off overnight. I don't think you need to stress over making more more more - if you keep with the realistic goal of August - you will be able to pay off the debt without it consuming you and your every thought. However, having something to focus on does some good too. As long as it doesn't become overwhelming and make you want to quit.
ReplyDeleteLastly, do not do this for us, your brothers or sisters or your friends...Do this for YOU. Do this so YOU can have the better things in life. Do this so YOU can have a home one day. Take advantage of your time here and create a better life for yourself. You are amazing - know that, feel that, live that.